The Power of Positive Thinking?

Today for me marks 5 days past my 3 day transfer or 5dp3dt. Thanks to the internet, I look up each day the progress our little babies might be making! It goes something like this:

1dp3dt: Embryo is growing and developing turning from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula

2dp3dt: Embryo’s cells continue to divide and morula is now a blastocyst (If you did a 5 day transfer, this is the stage you did your transfer!)

3dp3dt: Blastocyst hatches out of shell

4dp3dt: Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining (I also read that this day the blastocyst has about 100 cells, although it wasn’t a scholarly journal so this could be inaccurate)

5dp3dt: Implantation begins as the blastocyst attaches deeper into the lining

6dp3dt: Implantation process continues

7dp3dt: Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become placenta and fetus have begun to develop

8dp3dt: Placenta cells begin to secrete HHCG in the blood

9dp3dt: fetal development continues and more HCG is produced as fetus  develops

10dp3dt: more fetal development continues and more HCG is produced as fetus  develops

11dp3dt: HCG levels are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

12dp3dt: This is the day I go to the clinic to get the blood test!

One of my rituals each day is to check the process of development the babies are hopefully making! Its kind of special to get to follow along in the process when most people are clueless that they’re even pregnant! My 2ww is almost halfway through- beta test is one week from today and so far I really have no symptoms at all, even though I’m conscientiously analyzing every twinge, cramp, bloat, and every other bodily function/fluctuation like a crazy lady!

Some “expert” advice I’ve read via ladies in forums while googling (hehe) is to relax, think positively, no sex, no googling symptoms, eating the core of pineapple to help aid in implantation, etc. My thoughts on this advice is that its similar to the advice of “relax” and it will just happen. I understand the benefit to my body and mind about thinking positively, but whether these babies implant or not doesn’t is not in my control, nor is it in the power of the Doctor. Its completely in God’s hands, so while I am hopeful that this procedure will result in a pregnancy, if it doesn’t, its not going to be because I did or didn’t eat the core of a pineapple. (Just in case you’re wondering, I did eat a pineapple because I will try anything that might be helpful for the babies, however the fate of this FET does not depend on it!) 

Before the transfer was my time of doubt. When the Doctor told us our embryos were poor quality, I was so disappointed, crushed to be honest. Then the transfer happened and I saw the little bubbly embryos on the screen. It was such a unique feeling that passed over me and has left its remnants in my heart and mind. I know our chances of this not working are just as high (and even higher) than it succeeding given our 2 day 3 medium and pretty good embryo, but its easier to hope now that I have the picture of them in my mind. The transfer was nothing like the retrieval. The retrieval was scary and painful, the transfer was calming and sweet and miraculous. I may have very different emotions if I have to go for a second (or third or fourth, fifth and sixth) FET, but after my first frozen embryo transfer, I was just thankful. For the gift of these two embryos we have been given for these couple of weeks(although I’m praying for more and more!!). The knowledge that they could be developing and growing and implanting is just amazing! I think the power of positive thinking may be onto something, or is it the power of hope?

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently”- Romans 8:25

 

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