As I’m typing this, I just finished my first real meal in a week! As you probably already guessed from the title, it was tuna noodle casserole!
This last week I have been pretty sick with OHSS, not anywhere near severe, and I am NOT complaining because if this is what it takes for us to have a baby, it’s all worth it, but it was NOT easy! The first day after egg retrieval I was fine, just uncomfortable and bloated. By day two, nausea set in full force, I have never experienced constant, steady nausea before in my life like this. I couldn’t even stand the touch of my husband rubbing my back- it made me sooo sick! I did my best to drink as much Gatorade as I could, but at best I could only gag down about a bottle throughout the day and even small meals were out of the question. I think about 3 saltine crackers was all I had to last me for 3 days. I hope this isn’t TMI but I also had the runs but managed to gain about 6-7 pounds, I know there are so many others who have had it so much worse, and my sympathy for them is at an all time high right now! My silver lining through all of the nausea was thinking of tuna noodle casserole. I have no idea why it sounded so good, honestly I typically don’t love the stuff, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind! That and watermelon were the only two things I could think about while I was sick. I told myself if I ever get better, my first meal will be tuna casserole. I got on pinterest and looked at all the tuns casserole recipes (every other food pin made me nauseous even just looking) Thank you Jesus for tuna noodle casserole!
When Alex got home from work, he made me the dish, and served it with a side of watermelon and it was everything I imagined it to be! My first real meal was so satisfyingly scrumptious (I never thought I would use those words to describe tuna casserole!!) and I am so thankful to be feeling closer to normal again (although, normally, I’d like to think I have a pretty sophisticated palette- I love fancy and complicated dishes, so maybe I’m not as close to normal as I thought!)
Today I also called the Fertility Clinic to find out the status of our embybabies (is that the right term?) I had put it off all week for a couple of reasons 1. Alex didn’t get home till after the clinic was closed each day and if we had bad news, (or good news) I wanted us to go through it together and 2. I didn’t even have the energy to call. My days consisted of napping and going to the restroom. That’s it. If I was really adventurous, I would lay on the couch instead of in bed, but sleeping was the only time I felt relief from the nausea so I slept as much as I could- almost all day .But now that we finally do have the results, I wanted to share them here! Out of 35 eggs, we had 22 fertilize and 20 are frozen! From all that I have read, our Hospital freezes only those that make it to day 5, unless there are not many eggs and they need to freeze them at day 3. Our Doctor said we have more than enough to get pregnant with! I am kind of in shock- we have 20 babies! They aren’t allowed to let me know the grade or quality over the phone or email for privacy reasons, so I won’t know that until my next appointment on the 2nd or 3rd day of my period. I am excited, but also very nervous about this. I don’t think its possible for me to give birth to 20 children, and I feel strongly they all need to be given a chance at life. Part of me really loves the idea of sharing our embryos with a loving couple or family; what an incredible gift to be able to give- especially those that have been unsuccessful on their own, but another part of me just can’t wrap my head around giving them up for adoption- our babies that we’ve longed for, hoped for, prayed for and fought for. I think I am getting ahead of myself, worrying, instead of thanking God for this miracle of life he has so abundantly given to us! I am so, so thankful, but also can’t deny I am nervous.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”- Matthew 11:28-30