My Husband’s “Blessing”

trials and blessings

I’m learning more than ever, God’s favor does not always come in the ways I think it should. God sees the bigger picture; the horizon when all I see is what is in front of me. God sees beyond the temporary and external, His vision is so hopeful. Sometimes, I am allowed a little glimpse beyond the present state I am in, and it is beautiful!
I was talking to my husband this weekend and we began to talk about infertility. I have gone through different emotions regarding how it has effected me, and have been able to see through the pain to know that its ultimately been a good thing for me, a time of growth personally and spiritually, but I didn’t exactly know how my husband viewed it until a couple of days ago. I had wrongfully assumed that this was a trial meant for me and my heart, but it’s purpose has been bigger than simply working on me and my heart. It has reached my husband (and beyond, I believe). “Amy,” he said “I know you may not always see your infertility as a gift, but it has been to me. It has softened my heart towards adoption and foster care in ways that I may never had had if having our own children had been easy for us. So while I hate that it is painful for you, God has really used it to be a special blessing; its been a gift to me. God has used this trial to soften my heart.”
So while I turn into a puddle, even now as I write this a couple of days later, God has been so gracious in allowing me to see how what I once viewed as a “curse” to be not only a gift for myself, but also for my husband. God has big plans for our family. I can see beyond the typical “American family” many people are blessed with and I see a glimpse of two broken people God will use for His plans and purposes to create a family like only He can do. We are blessed by infertility, THAT is something only God could orchestrate!
On another note! Our first appointment at the fertility hospital went really well! I was thankful Alex was able to take the train and subway with me, as we had a few stops and without him, I feel I would have been lost(no, I will be honest, I would have been completely, utterly and hopelessly lost!) My next appointment will be the day after Thanksgiving, where I will have an ultrasound (to look at follicles and monitor my cyst) as well as to plan our next steps to see where we should go in regards to IVF. I am curious about my cyst and wondering if it has grown or not and how it will effect our fertility treatments. Since it is complex, and not menstrual cycle related, I am speculating on wether surgery will be necessary in order to proceed to IVF. I guess I will find out in the next couple of weeks! Thank you for all of your prayers over the last week! Alex and I really have felt them and we are so encouraged by them!


5 thoughts on “My Husband’s “Blessing”

  1. I love reading how God has turned what the devil meant for harm into good for His glory! God will ALWAYS have the last word with the devil. Praise God that He is turning this bitter situation into something better. I heard a quote once and it has always stuck with me…”Don’t let it make you bitter, but better”. You have certainty done just that 🙂

  2. I love what you said about God using two broken people for His plans & purpose…that’s where He really shines, huh? 🙂

    What the enemy intends to destroy God is sustaining and building up…y’all’s growing marriage is a testimony to that!

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