I was inspired by a post I recently read about the daily struggle of wanting badly to be a mother, and not being able to and decided to follow the same template for this post.
Can you imagine going through the same pattern of hope, expectation, anticipation and crushed dreams month after endless month?
Can you imagine the feelings of failure when you’ve been commanded to “be fruitful and multiply” but are unable to?
Can you imagine enduring invasive, embarrassing, painful and intrusive procedures in an effort to figure out what is wrong?
Can you imagine having countless ultrasounds never to hear a tiny heartbeat that signifies a life growing inside of you?
Can you imagine the painful awareness of your own empty womb at the sight of every pregnant woman you encounter? Or avoiding the baby aisle like the plague?
Can you imagine a deep, ethreal pain at the sight of babies and children?
Can you imagine having to celebrate the holidays with the absence of children’s laughter?
Can you imagine having friends announce their first, second and even third pregnancies all while you still wait for your first?
Can you imagine grieving for someone you’ve never even met? Or grieving that you may never see your husband’s blue eyes in your child?
Can you imagine once finding so much joy in purchasing soft pink and blue little onesies and swaddling blankets, then the joy slowly turning to sorrow as the years pass, it is a painful reminder of what you are missing?
Can you imagine your sister in law calling to surprise you with another niece or nephew announcement, then weeping when you get off the phone, and feeling guilty becuase you did?
Can you imagine listening and reading about Mothers complain about how fat they’ve gotten, how terrible morning sickness is or how they hate their stretch marks when you would give up your figure in a heartbeat if it meant carrying a child?
Can you imagine everyday pleading and praying for children, all while people ask when you’ll catch up with them and have children?
Can you imagine day to day feeling half asleep because you know you were made to be a Mother, but are childless?
Can you imagine that instead of being given a flower at church on Mothers Day, you are shaply aware of the empty ache and sting you know that day will bring at Church that Sunday?
Can you imagine the joy and thankfulness you will feel when you are in Heaven, and all these aches and pains will be healed?
Can you imagine the empathy and compassion you feel for other women facing infertility alongside you?
I know that God never wastes pain and this quote from Elisabeth Elliot sums it up beautifully: “I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.”
Isn’t it so comforting that there will be a day when there will be no tears, no pain? So thankful for the hope I have that is rooted in Jesus Christ!