“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25
I have always considered myself a fairly patient person when it comes to most things. I don’t mind waiting in lines, or waiting for red lights to turn green in traffic, these little things just don’t bother me, but this not knowing and waiting month after month has tested my patience like never before!
In July of last year, my husband and I filled out paperwork to begin foster care. We knew we would only be living in Alabama for 2 years or less, so we wanted to get the paperwork started so that we would be able to care for children right away. We were still trying to have our own children as well at this time but also felt called to be foster parents. Months went by and it was September before all of paperwork went through. The department called us and let us know they would not be doing any more training until February! Required Training for foster parents is 3 hours, one night a week for 10 weeks. By the time we would have finished training, we would only be in Alabama for another 3 months! We decided that if we were stationed somewhere in the United States next, the first thing we would do is begin the paperwork to become foster parents.
After all of that, we both decided to pursue adoption through the State as well. I knew it can take many. many months and sometimes years, so we wanted to get a head start on all of the required training.(If you want your heart to melt, go to adoptuskids.org and take a look at the hundreds of children waiting for forever families) My husband and I both agreed that we feel called to adoption regardless of whether we have our own biological children on not, but during this time, we found out we would be stationed in overseas Korea!
Although I am excited about living in a totally new culture and environment, I am torn because I feel like it pushes us back a couple of years trying to foster children and adopt domestically. It seems like God is shutting doors that I felt so sure we were supposed to open. On the plus side, my husband will not be deployed for at least 2-3 years, and I am able to accompany him, so we have more opportunity to try for our own. I know God never closes one door without opening another window, and I am certain that we will be able to foster children in the future, but the waiting part is so hard and I desperately miss just being around and caring for children. Another positive is that they have Korean orphanages, and it has always been a dream of mine to work in an orphanage!
Until then, I will “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) which seems to be such a battle for me during the two week wait! I know God is refining me, preparing me for when we are finally blessed with children, but some days I just want to say that I think I’ve been refined enough and the only constolation I can come up with is that God is preparing me for something super special, though some days I want to settle for mediocre! I’ll close with one last favorite verse from Romans!
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.