“Often I have heard people say, ‘How good God is! We prayed that it would not rain for our church picnic, and look at the lovely weather!’ Yes, God is good when He sends good weather. But God was also good when He allowed my sister, Betsie, to starve to death before my eyes in a German concentration camp. I remember one occasion when I was very discouraged there. Everything around us was dark, and there was darkness in my heart. I remember telling Betsie that I thought God had forgotten us. ‘No, Corrie,’ said Betsie, ‘He has not forgotten us. Remember His Word: “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him.” ” Corrie concludes, “There is an ocean of God’s love available—there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love—whatever the circumstances.” – Corrie Ten Boom
This quote stirs my soul. There are some days when I, like Corrie Ten Boom, have darkness in my heart, particularly when it comes to my infertility. I foolishly let myself question the goodness of God when he allows so many other women to have children, but has not granted my pleas. But God is good, even when month after month my womb is still empty. Job wisely said ” Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?” (Job 2:10b) There are so many ways that I have been blessed, where others have not been. Throughout this past year and a half, I have sought God like never before, searching and asking for wisdom and understanding, crying and with a broken spirit, and I have felt that God’s word is the truth like never before: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” Psalms 34:18.
There are times where I am so distraught and discouraged, but no matter what I am experiencing, God is good, even through times of trouble and for this reason, I have so much hope. Hope and faith that God has something special and exciting planned. Something planned for my husband and I that is so out of this world incredible that only God could have orchestrated it. Whether we have our big family naturally, through adoption, foster care or another way, I am trusting in God for the hope that is in our future.